Lobster got himself a girl

One time, oh maybe bout five years back, it was coming up to Hallowe'en and Lobster was home sitting by moma while she let his costume out again.

Lobster loved his costume. It was a fireman's costume of course. It had a nice dark jacket and gold buttons all down the front. With a big shiny hat. Which he loved to fill up with all the candy he could find on Hallowe'en night.

Lobster didn't go looking for candy of course, that was for kids. He was right sad when pappy told him that. He loved to go collecting candy. But Lobster was nearly a man now. So it had to stop.

But sometimes, if he asked nice, the kids would tip some of their candy pillows into his shiny hat and he'd have himself a right haul.

He loved Gummy Bears the best.

Anyhows, he was home sitting by moma when pappy comes in from baiting trawl and says, Lobster, there's a dance on down the Legion tonight and you should go! It'll be good for you to get out and maybe meet a nice girl.

So down he went, all cleaned up and shaved right, with his costume all snug on his hips and his hat all shined up.

My, but the Legion was full of the weirdest kinda folks that night. You couldn't tell who was who, with all the costumes and the lights flashing from the discotheque.

And there were witches everywhere: witches on the dancefloor boogiein' on down, witches knocking back shots and smoking cigarettes, witches playing pool, witches going in the washroom and coming out, all in gangs of black with big pointy hats.

There were even witches playing on the machines, with witches standing behind them waiting their turn.

My it was some witchy convention that night.

How was Lobster ever going to find a nice girl, what with all the girls cackling and grinning and hiding themselves under their cloaks?

He needed a beer to set himself up to decide. So he went on up to the bar and there she was.

A witch to be sure, but perched up there on her pointy black hat she had the biggest, brightest, shiniest red light he ever saw on a girl. There it was, just as jaunty as could be, winking on and off and justa callin' to him.

What'll your poison be, the witch said.

Her big red light winked at him.

On. And off. And on. And off.

Lobster felt the world spinning around him.

He got himself a beer and went and sat and just watched the bright new light in his life for a while.

Later on, he was coming out of the washroom and there it was, right in front of him, justa winking at him like there was no other fireman on earth knew what it wanted.

He grabbed ahold of his courage with both his hands and said, 'who in the hell are you now, missy, with your big red light, that makes me spin round and round. I do love it so.'

Don't you know me, she said, all shy and quiet.

Well, I wouldn't be asking if I knew, now would I, Lobster replied.

A light came in her eyes right then, like Lobster'd said the right thing, and she leaned in close under his chin and stared into his eyes.

The big red light winked right at him.

On. And off. And on. And off. And on.

Why don't you come into my witch's garage with me, she said, and I'll whisk you away on my broomstick.

Oh my.

Before Lobster knows it, he's in the broom closet with the witch.

There's a couple of other couples in there, justa groanin' anda moanin' in the dark, but the big red light cleared them all out in no time and then they were alone.

Just the two of them.

And the big red light.

On. And off. And on. And off.

Lobster tried to look past the light into her eyes.

Tell me your name, little witch he said, real quiet and nice.

Well, why don't you call me Right Eager, she said.

What kinda name is that, said Lobster.

That's what they call me round here, she said.

Will you fly me through the sky on your broomstick, Lobster asked.

Why yes, she said, all quiet and nice.

Not like a witch should be at all.

And the big red light will show us the way, Lobster thought.

Won't pappy be proud...