So, it's Friday afternoon and there is a rainstorm outside in which Himself is travelling in Albert to the Island for the weekend. Queenie is home alone apart from the wretched bacterium that is ravaging her bronchial tubes, making her sweat and cough and wheeze and pant in a shallow manner reminiscent of a hot dog (as in sweltering animal, not weiner) due to the pain in her chest when she breathes.
No doubt it is the teenage mutant cousin of the bacterium that tried to fell her over Christmas and failed.
It is not going to fail this weekend.
I am felled.
Alone I sit, in layers of Himself's comfiest fleece jumpers and socks (at least they didn't abandon me), the last bag of Tayto's in the house lying empty on the desk beside the laptop, the weekend disappearing in a haze of ice-white rain and greenish-yellow phlegm.
Think positive, Queenie, think positive.
Positive Thought No. 1
Himself forgot to bring back the dvds so I can watch Eastern Promises again and watch the Viggo running naked round a Turkish bath knifing Russian mobsters scene as many times as I like without any jealous sulking going on in the kitchen.
Himself accidentally on purpose realised he needed my full attention for the duration of the scene the first time I watched the movie.
I should never have told him the only competition in the world for my affections he needs to ever worry about is VM.
The fact that he appears to take the threat somewhat seriously is of course the best form of defence he could muster.
Bless him. He knows me so well.
Positive Thought No. 2
I have a Creme Egg I forgot to eat yesterday.
I was in my local Needs Convenience Store the other day buying Creme Eggs and I remarked to the guy behind the counter that he must hate Creme Egg season because they are so difficult to swipe with the price reader, being all wrapped in crinkly paper.
He looked at me in a kind of vaguely joyous way when I said it because I think he thought that he was the problem.
The store stank of weed, d'ya see.
Positive Thought No. 3
I have already done the doctor thing and gotten the kick ass antibiotics so I am to be better by Sunday and I don't have to figure out how to get to the doctors in the freezing rain.
Not that I didn't appreciate the antibiotics I got at Christmas.
Positive Thought No. 4
I remembered to go to the ATM, so if I ever feel the inclination to eat food that is not crisps or chocolate, I can just call the Chinese. Or the gourmet pizza place.
Positive Thought No. 5
Sick people can't do housework. It's best if they just lie around and read books and write in their blog.
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