So, what's the plan Queenie?

Damned if I know, but there have been a lot of requests for some kind of briefing. If this was a work thing, the Canada plan would be the extremely argumentative point I’ve been making at staff meetings for the last four months in order to wind everyone up, to the extent that they have finally ganged up on me and asked for a paper on it.

So, because I am a good civil servant, even though I have to stop being that now, I feel I should crystallise my thinking and write it. And of course if I do, and get in ahead of everyone else and argue my point coherently, I might progress one of my ideas. Which is of course the whole point of being a policy analyst. Or so I think anyway. And I reckon my peers all agree, which is why so many of us are frustrated. Which is why I’m leaving. But that’s another story entirely.

So yes, the plan. Well, you see therein lies the problem. Because an analyst needs time to think things through. And in today’s age of high productivity, sitting around thinking is not quantifiable and is therefore unproductive. It's all about participation, yes, lots of meetings so everyone can quantify their input and fuck the outputs. But that's another story entirely.

It always amazes me the way that people expect coherent, workable solutions to extremely complex problems and at the same time don’t allow you to sit around and think about what to do. How else are you expected to come up with a solution?

Anyway, the plan. Yes. Well, currently, there are a number of plans, or ideas. And really what you should do is give me some seed funding, and let me run a pilot, so I can figure out what works. But of course, there are budgetary constraints (Why is that, by the way? We’re loaded, aren’t we? Is there something they’re not telling us?). But to give them their due, they have decided I can do a pilot, and they will graciously allow me to take time out from being a responsible adult to engage in these pilots. But only on the understanding that I pay for it myself.

And I said yes to this deal??????????????????????

I am a muppet.

No I’m not. I chucked in my job and that in itself is something everyone should do at least once in their lives. I heartily recommend it. I've done it four times. You wouldn’t believe the type of people who slide up to you and shake your hand when you do it. We are legion. Even amongst the powerclass. But that's another story entirely.

Anyway, the plan. Well, there’s a chronological plan, that involves a week in Toronto, a week in Kingston, a couple of days in Montreal, the train down to Halifax NS, a couple of weeks in Wolfville, down to Digby to see the whales and then back to Halifax to get a job for the summer. Then down to Katharine’s wedding, at which point I will consult with my team (ie my friends) as to what I should do next. I am assuming I will have some options for them to consider. As far as I’m concerned, this is an extremely workable plan, but it takes time to explain, so most people’s eyes glaze over after Montreal. So I need a sentence that describes what I’m doing.

I’ve been trying. I’ve made quite a few speeches about this in the last few weeks. But none of them have worked. I’m finding it quite difficult to explain why I’m doing this, even though I know why. I just haven’t found the formula of words to describe it. And I'm damned if I'm going to spend three months developing a model of nine interlocking characteristics, which flow into five key challenges, which illuminate another five strategic priorities, which manifest themselves into forty two key recommendations, none of which have been costed (apart from the childcare one, which the Labour party just costed at one billion, which is probably conservative, except for it is not a cost, just a transfer of wealth, which of course we CAN'T have in this country. But that's another story entirely.)

So here are some sentences:

I am going to Canada because it is unusual to do it at my age, and I like doing unusual things.

I am going to Canada because they gave me a work permit.

I am going to Canada because it has a beautiful wilderness that I need to see.

I am going to Canada because I have this idea in my head that I might be able to write if I can switch off all the distractions, and I think that I might be able to do it there, if I go up the right cul de sac.

I am going to Canada because they are the world experts on partnership and I might find some idea over there that I can bring back to Ireland and persuade my colleagues about.

I am going to Canada because I cannot work for the public service in Ireland until after the next election. Because nothing is going to get done for the next two years. And I will go mad if I have to do another report.

I am going to Canada because I don’t know anyone there and I can reinvent myself if I want to, although I don’t think I will, because I like my current manifestation.

I am going to Canada because it is closer to the real centre of power in the world, and I am tired of operating in a small backwater, run by male pissheads. Who listen to me because I'm pretty, not because I am a serious operator.

I am going to Canada because it sounds like a place where you can have no money and still be dignified. Unlike Ireland, where choosing a low income lifestyle means you are a loser.

Which is bollocks by the way.

I am going to Canada because I might be able to find a business idea to take home and make work.

I am going to Canada because it is an easy exit strategy, and once I’m there, I don’t have to worry about coming home if I don’t want to.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

So there you go. There’s the plan at present.

If this was a work context, I would present this myriad of options to a committee, which wouldn’t have time to read any of them, and so would agree to let me choose one. Which it would then disagree with. But then, that’s what all groups of people do.

So I will choose one. At some point. The interesting part of this pilot is that there is no deadline, so I can do whatever I want. The only benefit of self-funded pilots. But not insubstantial (Damian - this sentence is for you by the way)

Which, if I remain true to my nature, will result in me imposing a deadline on myself. I will try not to do this this time, because the real reason I am going to Canada is to see whether it is possible to break the old routines and work on your strengths/ weaknesses so you can start using them to achieve different things.



Anyways, I’ll see you all in Vermont in September. Or in Canada at some point.