I am very excited about this. So I decided to share it with you all and have appropriated the following text from some random Google desktop thingummy that appears when I log on in the morning now.
"In 2006, wrongs will be righted, the underdog will become an "overdog" and the idle rich may just become the idle poor. Watch and see. From January 29, 2006 until February 17, 2007 the disquiet, just, fair, loyal, suspicious, critical and sometimes pessimistic RED FIRE DOG will reign supreme, creating an overall positive influence.
Hooray! And we'll all live in the Big Rock Candy Mountain no doubt too. Do I get to be in charge is the important question, seeing as I know how to do all this stuff?
Fortunately, we need not BEWARE of this particular dog. Fire Dogs are generally benign, resilient, and compassionate characters--perhaps with a penchant for lust and fierce loyalty to kin and causes. They gripe often, growl when they're angry and whine when they're lonely or hungry. Bottom line? Fire Dogs are a cindery mix of moody combustion and passionate, benevolent concern for their fellow man.
Oooh, er, a penchant for lust. That strikes me as a bit of a stupid sentence, but I can't quite figure out why. I tell you one thing though, passionate benevolent concern never got me anywhere in the lust stakes. Moody combustion on the other hand...
This fiery watchdog will inspire us all in 2006. You'll feel compelled to emulate the playful, loyal aptitude of this great canine pal. Almost instinctually, you'll want to engender the flock's highest mission and work to save the world. You will be obliged to pitch in and give 110%. And you will be rewarded for your labors with a huge cosmic cuddle around hearth and home by the end of this fiery but positive year.
This means that there will be three more elections this year and I will have to work on all of them and it will be awful, but the party will run the world by the end of it.
And I'm not cosmic cuddling anyone I don't like....
Money: The money picture in 2006? Just okay. Don't expect to break the bank at your favorite casino, win the lottery or receive a surprise inheritance. This is not one of those windfall years. You see, a Dog is not the type to easily part with hard-earned cash. It's not that he's stingy. The Fire Dog is a cautious soul. He will definitely inspire you to think a dozen times before impulse-buying anything that you don't actually need.
This is obviously the Nova Scotian in me.
I've just realised I need to rephrase that sentence. That's the Nova Scotian influence on me is what I meant to say.
On top of that, the Dog will beg us all to double our charitable contributions and jingle change into every open hand. Dogs are fervent believers in helping the unfortunate. With so many reasons to give—and there will be tons—try not to give in to too many handouts. You may end up donating all that money you saved.
I'm registering the Nova Scotian Collective for the Integration of Immigrant Women into Society as we speak. I'll have Paypal for all you foreign donors.
Love and Lust: This year, we will all fall in and out of impassioned love at least once...and many people—more than in a long time—will get married, settle down and make a normal life for themselves and their offspring. But beware, although dogs are oddly loyal in most areas of life, dogs are rarely faithful in the matters of sex, and this year may be proof positive. Dogs don't prevaricate often if they can help it. But where sex is concerned, they fib prolifically.
This is not true. I would just like to put that on the record.
Loyalty: Dogs are notoriously faithful to causes, beliefs and institutions, and almost obsessively loyal to family and friends—in fact, they give a warning growl the way a real dog does. The loyalty level this fiery Dog year will reach heights of zeal.
Zeal is such a tiring word isn't it.
In general, the Dog year 2006 will be a time of rebuilding, renaissance, safety and security. It will bring about massive restructuring of everything from bridges and dams to houses and causes. Closer attention will be paid to environmental issues, reducing global warming, quelling warlike behavior, and improving our planet's longevity. Passions will advance and then retreat.
This is actually a bit spooky. I wonder.....
We will embrace new commitments and discover new routes to realize our dreams. It'll be up to each of us – the members of the Red Fire Dog's flock – to manifest our deepest desires for peace and prosperity.
My flock, I like the sound of that... I should write my own Psalm. Queenie is your shepherd, you shall not want/ Deep and green are the grassy meadows she bringeth you along/
.... wouldn't it be hilarious if I were the Messiah! Oh man, I could just refocus the blog a bit and let on I was!!
I should write a self-help guide, shouldn't I? This is the year to do it. It could be bigger than the Bible. I have a title and everything:
Become the Red Fire Dog:
How to leverage deeply ingrained intellectual arrogance, emotional insecurity, and unpredictable moodiness into an extraordinary leadership skillset!
No comments:
Post a Comment